Expectations and how to juggle them

Not sure how your September started, but mine for sure full of great expectations. The commitment towards a particular project, the improvement of my daily routine, a long postponed new diet plan to address some intolerances that have slightly got worst lately.

I was focusing on taking things easy and doing all at the right pace, but somewhere along the way, without realising, I started putting a lot of pressure on myself. Slowly I changed my attitude, and I found that I was judging myself harshly for not meeting all the goals that I had in mind, and I was far from being lenient with myself. Precisely the opposite.

Judging oneself
2 – Judging oneself

The thing with judging, be it towards others or towards yourself, is that is never helpful. On the contrary, it tends to stop us in the middle of things, focusing on something that is of no use in itself, and that affects negatively our perception of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to stop considering what you are doing and how, I mean don’t judge as a result of that. Understanding is useful, judging is a mere waste of time. Eventually, if you do it towards yourself, is counterproductive and creates an unsafe environment for your wellbeing. How can you feel at ease with yourself if you are your most severe judge?


The impact of our environment

Furthermore, we come from a very difficult period, the pandemic has changed our life in ways nobody would expect, and its still affecting our daily activities, at different levels according to the country you live in, and the season in your part of the world.

The events of the past months have certainly had their toll, wether we were personally affected or not, the climate of fear, closure, and isolation, has created various degrees of stress in each one of us, and we can’t simply ignore it.

This is my point: be lenient with yourself! Be gentle, be understanding, consider the circumstances, take it easy as you go through what you have done or what you are doing. Listen to your internal dialogue and compare it to the one you would have with a friend, you might realise you’d never be so severe in judging a friend, like you are in judging yourself. So just be compassionate like you would be with a friend!

Learn from your mistakes, acknowledge the things that need to be acknowledged, but do not linger on them. Focus on how to improve, not on how you have not accomplished something!

Hands heart
3 – Start from Love

As corny as it sounds: start from love

If there is a thing that I have learnt over the years is that a negative mindset rarely produces positive results, and whatever the change the you want to manifest in your life, it has to start from positive, from love. Sounds corny, I know, but in my experience, it makes all the difference.  Do you want to lose weight? Start from loving yourself, and your body, not from blaming and judging your attitude and your look.

Do you want to be more productive and focused? Start from loving yourself and being grateful for all that you are and your capability to improve, and productivity will follow.

Judging yourself harshly and not being lenient will cause you to feel bad about yourself, in a situation in which you are likely to be already under pressure. When you feel bad about yourself, and do not feel at ease, you will most likely take refuge in your habits, to get comfort in them, and those habits might be the ones that are preventing you to reach your goals.

If you are struggling to get on diet, and are too severe with yourself, you might end up overeating comfort food to numb the fact that you feel a failure for not dieting.

If you are a serial procrastinator, being too hard on yourself will only make you feel worst, incentivising the postponing habit, looking to push away the things you don’t like to do. And this applies to many other expectations we have pinned to ourselves.

Love yourself
4 – Love yourself

Channelling the right mindset

Starting from love might seem trite, but is the key to set up a good relationship with yourself. Being lenient with yourself is the direct result of a loving approach towards you. Before judging what you have not achieved, count you achievements, and let that be the guide to reconsider your strategy.

Be mindful of how you treat yourself, plan some celebration for when you reach any of your goals. Love yourself first, and start from the positive, to discover how big a change this can make in your life.

Whether you realise it or not, you ARE in control of your thoughts, therefore you have the power to change your mindset, switch it to create one that better suit your needs.

Just be gentle, smile to yourself and focus on the positive. 🙂


Does this resonate with you? Let me know in the comment!

For more inspiration on setting up a more rewarding daily routine, have a look at this article.



Images Credits

1 – Main Image -Image by Ben Kerckx from Pixabay
2 – Image by succo from Pixabay
3 – Image by Photo Mix from Pixabay
4 – Image by Ylanite Koppens from Pixabay

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