I’ve started my grey hair journey officially on May 2019, when I had my last hair dye, and decided that I was done with it. Anyway, if you read some of my previous articles, you know that I had been thinking about this for a couple of years before actually being able to go for it. I had tried once before the definitive decision, but I was roughly stopped on my tracks by a person who made a comment on my hair, not even a bad one, but it made me uncomfortable enough to give up my decision, and go back to the dye for a while.This is why the really important thing is changing perceptions: the grey hair revolution is all about normalising no dye as one of the many options we have with our hair!
What we do with them should be just up to us.
What is the grey revolution?
Ok, we are not saving lives here. And I know that there are much bigger problems. Talking about freedom and revolution for something as simple as choosing not to dye one’s hair might seem a bit over the lines… Nonetheless, I assure you that there is more at play in this simple choice.
And if you are reading this you are probably already been through the battle with yourself and the people around you, or you are maybe in the middle of it, unsure if going grey is something you can actually manage to do.
What we have to face when we even think about the possibility of stopping dying our hair is a clear wall that society has put up, and that is heavily projected on women. As much modern we might think the culture we live in is, the biggest stigma is still placed on women look: we, as women, have to look young. We have to pursuit youth as if it was a value in itself, and if we don’t, we are blamed in many ways that shows how sexist our society still is.
The prejudices that go with the idea of grey hair AKA what’s this all about
When you tell people you are considering to let your grey hair grow naturally, the most common reactions (apart from a few illuminated beings that just tell you to do whatever you want to) tends to be:
- You are too young to go grey (wtf, I already AM grey, what’s that supposed to mean?)
- Don’t let yourself go (Go where? I’m right here, for goodness’ sake!)
- You’ll look old (How do you know? Are you clairvoyant and just forgot to mention it till now?)
- You’ll be unattractive (Ok, nobody probably simply says that, but you can clearly guess they mean it…)
The meaning behind the objections
Let’s have a look at what these objections really means, to understand what are we facing here.
You are too young to go grey – Grey hair means being old, therefore it is unacceptable unless you really ARE old, that is over circa 75 years old in people’s mind.
Don’t let yourself go – If you do not cover your grey hair, you’ll accept to look old, hence you are not taking care of yourself: here the aging phobic trait of our society begins to come across more clearly.
You’ll look old – Here it is, in plain sight: you can’t look old. Is a no go. Women should always try to look younger if they want to be liked and accepted.
You’ll be unattractive – That’s my favourite part, the assumption that old is not likeable, is not beautiful, and most of all is not sexy. And the greater, and more worrying, assumption behind it: that as women we must be attractive, and likeable, and sexy, as if all our worth comes down to that.
There you have it, the elephant in the room. In 2021, after all the battles we have been through, women are still judged mainly on their look.
Even worst: they are valuable only until they look pretty and young, when they grow old, they are useless and do not count anymore.
The real importance of the grey revolution
Talking about changing perceptions: the grey revolution is all about changing people’s mind about this. For every woman that follows her gut and decides to go grey no matter her age, there is a shift in the perception of what grey hair means.
Up until a few years ago, only very old people were grey haired. Unless this change, we will face the same prejudices over and over.
We live in a visual culture, that gives the greatest importance to what we see! If we do not commonly see something, we are not likely to accept it. Our mind is not used to it, and it can’t fight the prejudice.
What we need is women of all ages who chose to let their grey hair grow, to change people perceptions. We need sexy grey-haired women. We must see normal grey-haired women. We have to see young AND old grey-haired women, to teach people that what we are is not defined by our hair colour or by our look. We need grey to show that looking your age is not a taboo, and old, as well as young, is good, and acceptable and just another phase of our life.
We need women showing off the grey as if it was the best feature they had, to show that aging is a privilege, and we need to honour it as a privilege. Together with our lines. We need women showing off that aging is normal, is not a curse you want to avoid.
And this does not mean that women should not dye their hair: women should feel free to do whatever they want to with their body and their look, just as men have always felt free to do.
Go grey and show it off!
That’s why I have never posted as many pictures of myself since when I ditched the dye. And this is why I’ll keep posting them. This is the reason why I cheer all the silver sisters out there, and all the ones starting their journey right now. Because the grey revolution is not just about the hair. It is about so much more!
I hope you’ll feel empowered to make your own choice, and I hope you’ll show it off as there is no tomorrow.
Read my articles if you want to read more about going grey, or about the grey hair transition.
Have you got any question about going grey? Let me know in the comments!
Image number credit: Pixabay